love-life essentials 

the dating checklist

 

Is this person right for me? Is this who God has for me? Should I date this guy? Should I go dump him? Living purposefully calls us to be intentional about who we surround ourselves with because the people we surround ourselves with IMPACT US, and this matters when it comes to dating. The person you’re dating is probably someone you’ll spend a lot of time with, which gives them the power to impact you for the better or worse. Here are the top criteria I believe in & live by when it comes to choosing who to date and not date based on the way I think the God of the Bible guides us (major hint: I’m PRETTY picky).   

1. They have the same values. My friends & I encourage each other to date people who have the same values & even share the same faith. You want to be challenged and grown, but you don’t want someone who conflicts with your convictions or you with theirs. If you’re a Christian, look for someone to push you closer to Jesus and what He has for you, not hold you back. Look for someone who loves and obeys Jesus, not just likes what He says sometimes.   2. They challenge you & you challenge them. Iron sharpens iron.   3. They are loving. This should be something you can see not only when they are with you but also when they are around family, friends and strangers (yours and theirs).    4.They have a job. Before I begin, I’ve got two caveats. #1? This only applies to those who can work. #2? This isn’t on the list to encourage materialism. Notice I did NOT say they are wealthy. Here’s why it’s included. Working shows character. It shows that this person has a work ethic and isn’t lazy. Working shows that they’re not planning to take advantage of you financially. Practically, having an income shows that the relationship is in a place where it could have a future if you both want it too.   5. They RESPECT you. The person you’re with should respect you, your convictions, your boundaries, etc. I’ll sum this up with a few powerful definitions from Google: (n.) A feeling of deep admiration for someone or something. Due regard for the feelings, wishes, rights or traditions of others. (v.) admire.   6. They’re HONEST. To be honest is to be sincere and free of deceit or untruthfulness. Trust and honesty go hand-in-hand, and if you can’t trust someone, they shouldn’t have one of the most impactful roles in your life. If they’re not honest, you can’t trust them.   7. They care about you and your feelings. Granted, we all have pride and selfishness, but if the person you’re dating doesn’t care, respect and respond to how you feel, then BYE. Leaving you on read for a week, isn’t caring. Not taking how you feel into account, isn’t’ caring. Doing what they want even when it bothers you, isn’t caring. If they’re not kind to you, they aren’t caring. If they aren’t concerned for you, they aren’t caring.   8. Track record. Take a look! I don’t mean hire a P.I., but get to know them and their past. REAL TALK. Is there abuse? Is there a character flaw that’s ruined multiple relationships? Charges? Addiction? People change. And repentance, freedom and growth are beautiful things. But often, when we’re in love we tend to ignore red flags that, one, have actually been there for longer than we have and, two, they don’t intend to change. Protect you.   9. You’re attracted to them (at least a little). Simple and sweet. You want to be attracted to the person you’re with, and that’s just not a crime – but don’t deny everyone who doesn’t look like your celeb crush either.   10. They’re someone you enjoy spending time with. Dating someone means you could end up committing to life with them. Whether it’s for life or just a little while, make sure this is someone you enjoy spending time with.   11. It’s going somewhere (or has potential to). Don’t. Let. Someone. String. You. Along. This person can’t DTR (define the relationship)? It’s been way long and your relationship is in the exact place it was way long ago? You’re in totally different places with no intention of changing that? It’s okay to respect yourself, your time and your heart.

From one picky gal to another, don’t be afraid to be SELECTIVE.

  XO, Meg