Public Speaker – Military Wife

 

“I wish more people didn’t limit themselves.

If more people would act on their gifts and talents, 

they would be able to do things they never could’ve imagined.”

 

Tiffany and Scotty

 

Tiffany Smiley is a speaker, an entrepreneur and the wife of a wounded veteran.

Tiffany’s husband, Scott Smiley, is the first blind active-duty officer in military history. The couple dated in high school and married in 2004. “It was the American dream. I was a nurse and he was a military officer. Our future was bright, happy and successful.”

 

But the newly married couple found out Scott would have to deploy for war for a year. She remembers thinking, “‘That’s so unfair. You’re supposed to get married and live happily ever after.’ In that moment, I realized ‘I’m serving my country too.’ So, I kissed him goodbye. I really believed God was protecting Scotty and his men.”

 

During Scott’s time away, “There were some hard, hard days of not knowing. My friends lost their husbands and friends’ husbands were injured. It was a slap in your face every day that that could happen. I thought, ‘God, you’re going to protect Scotty and we’ll have this wonderful homecoming. That will make up for this year long struggle, right?’

 

“Then on April 6th of 2005, I got woken out of bed at 3 a.m. and it wasn’t Scotty on the other line. It was his commander: ‘Scotty’s been hurt. It’s really bad. There’s shrapnel in his eyes. There’s shrapnel in his head. I don’t know if he’s going to make it. He came face to face with a suicide car bomb and the man detonated his car.’ Then this strong leader broke down sobbing. All he could say was, ‘I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.’

 

“You’re coming out of this fog, and, in that moment, my world blew up into a million pieces. It was like everything was taken from me.”

 

The doctors told Tiffany they had removed Scott’s left eye and were going to remove his right eye. “That was a dagger to my heart. I was like, ‘Oh my word. I could’ve handled something else, God. HELLO?! This is a bit extreme here.’ It was a total scene of desperation, pain, evil, knowing what had happened, the evil that had been done. All of that was swirling.”

 

Then, “I had this moment where God covered me with peace, and He told me, ‘I will use him.’ I’m like, ‘Well, I’m going to believe that.’

 

Tiffany resigned from her nursing job, met Scotty at Walter Reed “and poured life into him.’

 

She recalled one time when Scott was going into an eye surgery. “His friend was like, ‘Why don’t you say a prayer?’ Scotty said, ‘No. I don’t know who God is anymore. I don’t want to pray.’ At that moment I was like, ‘Give him a heart for You, and help me be the wife to him that he needs.’ That’s all I cared about honestly.

 

“So, I just began breathing truth and life. People would leave him being like, ‘Oh, this is such a shame. He was a good leader.’ And I would say, ‘He still will be.’ Shortly after we arrived at Walter Reed, I was brought into a room to sign paperwork to medically retire him from the military. In that moment, I knew my purpose was to stand up for him. I told this hospital administrator and these doctors, ‘I’m not signing that.’

 

“They were taken aback. They’re like, ‘This is the normal protocol. This is what you do.’ But I was so strong in my purpose. That gave me strength to say, ‘I’m not signing it.’ They said, ‘He’s completely blind. There’s never been anyone ever in the military to serve blind.’”

 

Tiffany still did not sign. Now, Scotty is “the first blind active duty officer.”

 

“These are miraculous things. I count it a blessing because God showed me that when you can believe the vision and the purpose He has for you, incredible things can happen. God didn’t have to show me in those desperate moments that He could fulfill those things, but He did. I will never be the same. I trust and believe on a whole different level. He restored Scotty’s heart for Him.”

 

As life continued, Tiffany invested in her husband. “I was all in for Scotty. I helped him through Duke to get his MBA.”

 

Meanwhile insecurities arose in her own life: “I always questioned, ‘Should we have kids? How in the world are we going to do this?’ I had some of those insecurities. ‘Maybe we didn’t deserve a happy life.’ I questioned some of that, but we had our first baby.

 

“It was the first time I realized something good can happen. It was the first time I felt beauty from ashes.”

 

Tiffany continued to work hard with Scott. “I was pouring into my kids and Scotty. His military career was doing incredible, winning a ton of awards. Then he wrote a book, and we had two babies. In 2011, when Scotty’s book was released, I was like, ‘We have to start this business because, as Scotty shared his story, not only was I seeing other people in the audience being healed, but, every time, a part of him was being healed as well. I saw this vision for starting a business: Hope Unseen.”

 

A Purpose for Tiffany

 

“God has had to show me so many things. I had to step away from the business for a little bit because I was doing it all: driving Scotty to work and home and taking care of the kids and running a business. I needed help, and I had never ever asked for help. So, I came to this moment where I surrendered, and I had to say I need help.”

 

Tiffany also then realized, “I’ve never grieved. I’ve never gone through a process that Scotty went through so many years ago.”

 

“I sort of let out of control. I don’t say it in a bad way because sometimes as women we can look back and think regret, and I don’t believe in that. Hindsight is not 20/20. All our paths are unique and lead us to the place where God wants us to go. He wanted me to get to a place where I needed to grieve. Maybe I’m just stubborn and it took me having to do everything to break, but I don’t regret it. I don’t think, ‘Oh, Tiffany, you should’ve done this. You should’ve done that.’ No. It’s all part of the journey.

 

“We’re all humans trying to figure this life out. Thank God I have Jesus to guide me because that’s what it’s about. It’s not about this perfect path. It’s going through those deep dark struggles to figure it out. That’s what sometimes our struggles are. We think we have to be perfect or have to hold up these guards, and God says, ‘No. You don’t have to do that.’

 

During this time, Tiffany needed to “know that God loves me. ‘I know He loves all these other people I’m serving, but does He love me? Does He have a purpose for me?’ Not that I wasn’t serving my purpose. I very much believe that I was, but it was coming to a new place in my relationship with God.

 

Tiffany began to question her identity. “My purpose was to serve Scotty, and I knew I was walking in God’s plan. Then I became a mother and that was my purpose. But then I was like, ‘I’m a nurse, and I have all these other things I would love to be called to do.’ There came a point when I looked in the mirror and I was like, ‘Who am I?’ That was scary. I was searching and wondering, ‘What is my purpose? Although I am serving, God, who did you create me to be?’ That was a difficult spot to say I have lost myself in all of this giving and all of this doing.

 

“Sometimes I felt worthless. I felt like I am a horrible mom, a horrible wife. I believed all these lies about myself, and so God took me on this faith journey in showing me that He loved me, that He created me for a purpose. Faith isn’t this huge leap. Faith is just a little baby step and another little baby step. Those baby steps amount to great change, great faith and a journey that is so unique and personal to yourself.

 

“God was leading me to a place of loving myself and grieving the pain in my own life. I often say those really low points in my life, looking back now, are what God has elevated to be the highest moments in my life.”

 

Tiffany also struggled with not having women in her life to help her along. “I was praying for godly women who could be my mentors and support me and (were) safe to share my visions, hopes and dreams with. God started to bring these women into my life.”

 

Meeting new friends and working through grief with them “showed me that we can believe lies and think our life has to be that way, but we can get outside of that. I was able to get outside of that and work through grief. Part of grief is being able to share it.

 

As Tiffany continued on her personal journey, “God started to tell me just write. Write and share your story.

 

“So, I started writing and sharing. I was blown away. People were taking my articles to Ukraine. Newspaper articles are being written and shared. Then I had this vision to create an event. What was important to me during this time was studying women in the Bible — what they went through — and how that pertained to my life. Their stories give me strength. I was like, ‘I need to create this event where we study, connect, share our stories and study the power of our minds.’”

 

Through these conferences, Tiffany wants women to be encouraged to “live boldly using their God-given talents and gifts, despite their circumstances.

 

“God started showing me circumstances aren’t what’s holding you back. It’s your mind and it’s your belief in Me. How much do you trust Me?”

 

Tiffany has now done three Story by Faith women’s conferences.

 

During this time, “God started to show me, ‘I have a plan and a vision for you too. Trust me like you trusted me with Scotty. Trust me for yourself.’ As I’ve done that, every step of the way, He’s shown me my purpose and the work He would have me to do.

 

Tiffany is also a public speaker, along with Scott, and an advocate for veterans and caregivers. “I’ve briefed the president of the United States. I went to the State of the Union Address. I’m working on a book and a devotional on the power of words.”

 

“When we can live free in Him, He’ll take us to the places that we need to go. Listen to that still, small voice and act on it. Believe the vision God has for you.”

 

Living Purposefully

 

“I thank God for all the trials because they’ve led me to my purpose. To live with purpose is making a difference in someone else’s life, to have a vision for something bigger than yourself. Living with purpose, when I hear that, I think of Jesus guiding me on a path to impact lives. My husband and I were having a conversation a couple of days ago about living with purpose. Each of us has a unique purpose. My purpose isn’t going to be your purpose or another woman’s purpose. God weaves this beautiful picture of all of us serving our purpose.

 

“My own life my purpose has changed.” Tiffany felt this when Scott was injured. “When I didn’t sign the retirement papers at Walter Reed my purpose was clear. My purpose, the path God had me on in that moment, was to be a life giver for Scotty. If you know you’re walking in that purpose, you don’t waver. It doesn’t matter what other people say.

 

“I want to live less out of habit and more out of intent. When you can live out of intent to serve God and your family and serve others for a greater purpose, that’s the beauty of life.”

 

Don’t Hold Back

 

“I felt different when I knew there was something I should be doing. If you feel that, act on it. Ask God to show you. He’s calling each of us to a grand purpose in unique ways.”

 

Tiffany advises to not hold back. “When I wasn’t feeling fulfillment, I was holding in my gifts and talents. One of my favorite quotes is by Mother Teresa: ‘I can do things you can’t do. You can do things that I can’t do. Together we can do great things.’ I love her life. She understood her purpose very clearly. If more of us do that, we could live more free and joyful despite our circumstance.”

 

It’s important to acknowledge your purpose. “Speak it. What is it? Find women you can share it with. God didn’t ask us to do this life alone. He gave us each other. We need mentors. We need encouragers that can be safe in sharing visions, hopes and dreams with.

Lastly, “You got to act. That is the scariest. It’s also the most fulfilling. I wish more people didn’t limit themselves… In our insecurities and our humans we limit ourselves.” 

“If more people would act on their gifts and talents, they would be able to do things they never could’ve imagined.”